Once in Brazil a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive.
Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions.
The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.
Officer: 'When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'Tying their belts'
Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
Monkey: 'Saying Hello! Good morning!'
Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Checking the system'
Officer: 'What were you doing?'
Monkey: 'Looking for my people'
Officer: 'After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'Having beverages and snacks'
Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
Monkey: 'Serving the travelers'
Officer: 'What were the Pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Handling the steering'
Officer: 'What were you doing?'
Monkey: 'Eating & throwing'
Officer: 'After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'Some were sleeping and some were reading'
Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
Monkey: 'Make up'
Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Handling the steering'
Officer: 'What were you doing?'
Monkey: 'Nothing'
Officer: 'Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'All were sleeping'
Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Handling the air hostess'
Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!!
No more Questions!!!!!!!!!
Lady to inspector: My husband went to buy mutton 2 days ago,
And hasn’t returned back.
Inspector: Why don't u cook something else.
An absent-minded man
went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said,
'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?
' asked the psychiatrist.
' How long has what been going on?'
said the man
1st thief : Oh! The police is here.
Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! This is no time for
superstitions.
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop
or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference
by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
Then there was a man who said,
"I never knew what real happiness
was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single
and be miserable,
or get married and
wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party,
one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
If you want your spouse to listen
And pay strict attention
to every word you say
talk in your sleep.
A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom,
To understand a man, to Love
And to forgive him, and for patience,
For his moods. Because Lord,
If I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death